Rough and tumble play is a natural behavior among most animals, particularly humans, and it plays a crucial role in their physical and social development. Whether it’s birds, puppies, squirrels, or even spiders, rough and tumble play provides the space for the development of important skills necessary for living a successful life.

          Navigating three-dimensional space is a complex skill for our brain and body to handle. Experiencing the difference between receiving and providing both soft and hard touches helps children understand their bodies and how they influence others and their environment. Rough and tumble play provides repeated opportunities for children to process and modulate how their bodies move through space and interact with others. These repeated experiences provide a map so that when children find themselves in a similar situation, their body intrinsically knows how to respond. When wolf pups roughhouse, for example, they are practicing and establishing a pack hierarchy while also developing the skills necessary for hunting.

          The developmental journey requires an expansion into the known, which requires risks such as learning to walk, making new social connections, trying something for the first time, or starting a new school. The risk inherent in rough and tumble play such as rolling down a hill or jumping off a couch, or wrestling supports a deep sense of resilience as they learn what they are capable of.

         Roughhousing, a favorite type of rough and tumble play, has particular benefits that support children physically, emotionally, and socially. In the physical domain, roughhousing can help children release the tension held in their bodies while supporting the development of the muscles and coordination required for big body movement. The release of this tension allows children to better regulate their emotions as they explore the dynamics of excitement, fear, and aggression through the interplay of roughhousing. Roughhousing also supports social connection as children express the empathy and regulation necessary to be successful in this type of play. Taking the risk inherent in roughhousing while feeling secure in this vulnerable space with a peer or caregiver strengthens the connection between the participants.

          There are risks involved with rough and tumble play. Children and adults do get hurt on occasion. But the benefits of rough and tumble are critical factors of our safety too. Children that regularly engage with rough and tumble play are more likely to know the limits of their bodies. They will also be more embodied as they explore new ways their bodies can experience the world. These children will be satiating the need for taking risk in a situation where the natural consequences are small. Their bodies will be more relaxed as they have released tension through impact, compression, inversions, and lots of pushing and pulling. The more embodied and regulated state that can emerge through frequent rough and tumble play is well worth the chaos of the act itself.

Here are a few strategies to incorporate rough-and-tumble play at home:

Pillow Fight: Throw, swing, squish and squeeze your child with pillows

Crash Pad: Make a pile of pillows, cushions, and blankets that your child can jump or be thrown into.

Wrestle: Get on all fours or lay down and wrestle with your child. Squeeze, flip, and toss them!

Exercise: Hold your child in your arms and do bicep curls. Put them on your shoulders and do squats. Lay on your back and do bench presses as you lift them up in your hands. See how long you can hold a plank with your child on your back!

Pit Jump: Dig a deep hole with your kid, piling the sand in one spot. Take turns standing on the sand pile and doing different trick jumps into the hole.

Tug of war: Use stretchy fabric, rope, or a blanket to pull with or against your child.

Tacos: Have your child lie on a blanket and pretend to make a taco out of them by using different touches and tickles. Once the taco is “made,” wrap them up tight in the blanket and playfully gobble them up.

Blanket Monster: Put a blanket over your head and playfully tickle your child when you catch them.

Pool Noodle Battle: Like a pillow fight, but with pool noodles.

         Rough and tumble play is a natural behavior among most animals, particularly humans, and it plays a crucial role in their physical and social development. Whether it’s birds, puppies, squirrels, or even spiders, rough and tumble play provides the space for the development of important skills necessary for living a successful life.

         Navigating three-dimensional space is a complex skill for our brain and body to handle. Experiencing the difference between receiving and providing both soft and hard touches helps children understand their bodies and how they influence others and their environment. Rough and tumble play provides repeated opportunities for children to process and modulate how their bodies move through space and interact with others. These repeated experiences provide a map so that when children find themselves in a similar situation, their body intrinsically knows how to respond. When wolf pups roughhouse, for example, they are practicing and establishing a pack hierarchy while also developing the skills necessary for hunting.

          The developmental journey requires an expansion into the known, which requires risks such as learning to walk, making new social connections, trying something for the first time, or starting a new school. The risk inherent in rough and tumble play such as rolling down a hill or jumping off a couch, or wrestling supports a deep sense of resilience as they learn what they are capable of.

          Roughhousing, a favorite type of rough and tumble play, has particular benefits that support children physically, emotionally, and socially. In the physical domain, roughhousing can help children release the tension held in their bodies while supporting the development of the muscles and coordination required for big body movement. The release of this tension allows children to better regulate their emotions as they explore the dynamics of excitement, fear, and aggression through the interplay of roughhousing. Roughhousing also supports social connection as children express the empathy and regulation necessary to be successful in this type of play. Taking the risk inherent in roughhousing while feeling secure in this vulnerable space with a peer or caregiver strengthens the connection between the participants.

        There are risks involved with rough and tumble play. Children and adults do get hurt on occasion. But the benefits of rough and tumble are critical factors of our safety too. Children that regularly engage with rough and tumble play are more likely to know the limits of their bodies. They will also be more embodied as they explore new ways their bodies can experience the world. These children will be satiating the need for taking risk in a situation where the natural consequences are small. Their bodies will be more relaxed as they have released tension through impact, compression, inversions, and lots of pushing and pulling. The more embodied and regulated state that can emerge through frequent rough and tumble play is well worth the chaos of the act itself.

Here are a few strategies to incorporate rough-and-tumble play at home:

Pillow Fight: Throw, swing, squish and squeeze your child with pillows

Crash Pad: Make a pile of pillows, cushions, and blankets that your child can jump or be thrown into.

Wrestle: Get on all fours or lay down and wrestle with your child. Squeeze, flip, and toss them!

Exercise: Hold your child in your arms and do bicep curls. Put them on your shoulders and do squats. Lay on your back and do bench presses as you lift them up in your hands. See how long you can hold a plank with your child on your back!

Pit Jump: Dig a deep hole with your kid, piling the sand in one spot. Take turns standing on the sand pile and doing different trick jumps into the hole.

Tug of war: Use stretchy fabric, rope, or a blanket to pull with or against your child.

Tacos: Have your child lie on a blanket and pretend to make a taco out of them by using different touches and tickles. Once the taco is “made,” wrap them up tight in the blanket and playfully gobble them up.

Blanket Monster: Put a blanket over your head and playfully tickle your child when you catch them.

Pool Noodle Battle: Like a pillow fight, but with pool noodles.